Some folks might think I’m a gutsy old gal

Because I run in the dark.

I thought so, too,

Because it was true

Till I ran in Yellowstone Park


That’s where I spent a summer, you see,

And where I would have run, too,

If not for the critters

That gave me the jitters.

I felt like I lived in a zoo.


The very first day I went out for a jog,

And what should appear up ahead,

But a wooly, black beast,

A half tonner, at least.

If he charged me, I knew I’d be dead.


Buffalo, bison,

Whichever you say,

They put a quick end to my run.

But I found a steep trail

That these beasts wouldn’t scale.

This gal sure knew how to have fun.


Then came the news

That altered my views

Faster than two feet can fly.

A bear on that trail

Mauled a fleet-footed male.

What luck that poor man didn’t die.


By the middle of summer,

Oh what a bummer!

The buffaloes finally fled.

But the elks came along

With their racks sharp and strong.

They gave me a new cause for dread.


Of course it’s no crime

To take some me time

And blow off a run now and then.

But I’d entered a race

That the locals would ace.

I needed to train once again.


Oh what a surprise

When I did realize

The locals weren’t loaded with guts.

This wimpy old gal

In their beast-filled locale

Kicked all of their poky young butts.