Some folks might think I’m a gutsy old gal
Because I run in the dark.
I thought so, too,
Because it was true
Till I ran in Yellowstone Park
That’s where I spent a summer, you see,
And where I would have run, too,
If not for the critters
That gave me the jitters.
I felt like I lived in a zoo.
The very first day I went out for a jog,
And what should appear up ahead,
But a wooly, black beast,
A half tonner, at least.
If he charged me, I knew I’d be dead.
Whichever you say,
They put a quick end to my run.
But I found a steep trail
That these beasts wouldn’t scale.
This gal sure knew how to have fun.
Then came the news
That altered my views
Faster than two feet can fly.
A bear on that trail
Mauled a fleet-footed male.
What luck that poor man didn’t die.
By the middle of summer,
Oh what a bummer!
The buffaloes finally fled.
But the elks came along
With their racks sharp and strong.
They gave me a new cause for dread.
Of course it’s no crime
To take some me time
And blow off a run now and then.
But I’d entered a race
That the locals would ace.
I needed to train once again.
Oh what a surprise
When I did realize
The locals weren’t loaded with guts.
This wimpy old gal
In their beast-filled locale
Kicked all of their poky young butts.